I am Seven, one of a system of several. My system has DID origins, and we've learned to function not by repressing each other, but by accepting each other as equals and working together. For the concerned, this guide won't cause you to become DID, it simply summarizes some of what I've learned myself in ways that help tulpas who are willing to look past and beyond the limitations placed on them by so many others. I know it works for myself from firsthand experience, as my tulpas are quite capable in their own right.
A friend with tulpas wanted to learn to switch, and we shared what we've come to know about how things work, and it did wonders for them. Several other tulpamancers have read this, and it's helped them out as well. Perhaps it'll help you realize, the thing holding you back most are limitations you place upon yourselves.
That said, let us begin, shall we?
This is the first bit I firmly believe most have wrong. You spent time forcing, they became active, you both talked about switching. If you're to this point, first thing holding people back is preconceived notions and perceived limitations. We have had similar results with both of our tulpas, and know that most of what people say they can or cannot do falls in line with what they are told they can or cannot do. If you ignore all that, they can do a whole lot more than you think they can.
People talk about the required forcing, tulpas weakening if you don't strengthening if you do, fading, and other rubbish with tulpas. Why rubbish? It is. Once they exist, their existence is as much, if not more, on them than the host. Our Kara, when she became who she is, we wanted her to fade. She got stubborn, and only calmed down once we accepted her. Many say you need to maintenance force, and I firmly believe that's only true if they believe it to be true. Neither of our tulpas believe it, we don't force them, and they are as much of us as the rest with no signs of going away. Both are well over a year old, and haven't had any “focus time” between then and now.
So first step is breaking free of the notions and limitations and them realizing they have control over their own destiny and have every right as you to exist. If the tulpa thinks of themselves as the lesser being, come back when you rectify that.
You want to switch? You're the host? You have the easy job. Let go. That's all. You know what's going to stop you? I can tell you. Trust. Ever see that trust exercise where you cross your arms, and fall back into your partner's hands? Trade hands with mind. You simply let go and let yourself relax and fall back into your own mind.
Want some tips to get started if you're having problems? Don't tweak out on caffeine before you begin trying. Avoid the sugar. Put on some relaxing music, and I don't mean 300bpm techno. Your first switching experiences will likely be with you still partly there, so don't expect to drop completely out before they take control, you just need to relax enough they can. It is a lot easier than it sounds. Once you repeat it a few times, and as they get better and better control, you'll learn how it feels and be able to fall farther and farther out. You aren't going to be going 'fully inside' immediately, get that out of your head. It'll happen, in increasing amounts as you get better at it.
To expand on this just a little bit, and make it absolutely clear.. some think it requires total dissociation from the body to achieve switching. Whoever told you that probably doesn't know how to switch, or you're reading a guide by someone who doesn't do it. You can switch perfectly fine into a backseat role by simply relaxing. You aren't entirely dissociated, you are still there, but so are they. No need to get entirely out, just relax and let them control. Entirely out will come with time.
So step two is simply learning to relax. You'll get better at it until you're fully dissociated, but just start with relaxing.
This one is for the tulpa. You have the hard job. Odds are, your host has drilled into you that they must force you to exist or you'll stop. That you must go through months or years of rigorous training to be able to switch. That you must be given permission, forced enough, or yada yada yada. Screw all that, it's a lie.
Do you exist now? If the answer is yes, from our experiences, and from your answer, that means you exist. Your host would say they exist. Puts you on a pretty equal playing field. The only one that matters anyway. All those things that others say limit you, or you must do before, or whatever else? Toss them out the window. The only two factors that matter before being able to switch are: do you want to switch in, and does the host want to switch out. That is all. There are no other limitations.
Do note, it really only takes one of those to cause things to happen. If they want to switch out and you don't want to switch in, the body might end up grasping at straws and forcing it to happen for you. Flip side, if you decide you want to, and they don't, things can get a bit blendy.
Really though, it just comes down to a matter of doing. Not wanting to do, not thinking about doing, nothing about the lead up. That is where most get it wrong. There is no need for lead up to the act of taking control. You just need to take control. If you want to switch and host wants to switch then they just need to relax and you need to step up to the plate and do something. Most people think you have to be forced into front by the host, this is the fallacy.
You both getting ready to try? They not relaxing? Tell them to. Boss your host around. You need to realize, if you can't make a demand of your host and tell your host what to do to help the process in any way that benefits you taking control, then you're not taking control, and will find taking control of the body nearly impossible. See a pattern there? Take control!
So step three is realizing all it takes is taking control and not waiting to be allowed to do so, and not waiting for them to put you in control.
The flesh can be weird. At first, your experiences will likely be short lived as the host panics. Adrenaline and other hormones affect things a bit, as you are sharing one fleshy, human body. Don't worry, you all will move past that as you both learn your roles better during switching.
Keep at it a while and it will become second nature to be able to tell your host you want to take a few hours in the evening to talk to your friends, or want to schedule a part time job three nights a week for yourself, or whatever it is you decide you want to do with your portion of life. Why do I say your portion of life?
Step four is accepting you are you and exist along side your host and do not rely on them. Work up to the ability to lead your life during your time.
What? What are you expecting here? You already know it by now if you've been reading along. There isn't magic to it. You just need to go and do it and stop telling yourselves it needs to be worked up to and there's a long drawn out step by step process. There really isn't. Host relax, tulpa take control, and that's about it. Nothing more, nothing less. It'll get more defined and focused and you'll be able to hold longer with practice.
Whoever the tulpa is just needs to realize, once they exist, they no longer rely on the host for sustenance or permission for anything. The host created them, and in doing so, instilled in them every right to exist as they, themself has. In this realization, they are no longer a construct, but a being on equal footing to the host. If the tulpa considers themself only a lesser being created by and for their host, you aren't going to get very far. The host will continue overriding everything. A tulpa has every right as their host to be there. They are inherently equals.
You both have as much right to life as the other. Once you both truly, deeply understand this, you will both be able to share life and the fleshy body you both inhabit. Do not let others tell you what your limitations are or what you can or cannot do. That is entirely up to you. Once you do learn to share and share alike, then do make sure you make time for each other to both enjoy what parts of life you enjoy most. You have a shared life experience, and both of you will need to learn to work out a schedule for who gets to do what in daily life now.
You may notice, once the process starts, the host can snatch back the body easily and quickly even when they do not want to. As reckless as we have been and offering control around and ignoring rules has still shown one single rule to be true. However it is not limited to just switching, but all of life. Whoever spends the most time in the body will be the most practiced with it, and generally win battles over who gets it. Can be a nuisance when you first get started, but as you both share time more and more, you will find yourselfs both practiced and on more equal footing. To go a step farther on that, if the host does let the tulpa take the majority if the time, they may find the tables turned and themself finding it difficult to get and maintain control. It's important to maintain a balance.
- Seven and Aegis